How to Be a Footballer - Peter Crouch

How to Be a Footballer

By Peter Crouch

  • Release Date: 2018-09-06
  • Genre: Biography
Score: 4.5
From 612 Ratings


**Winner of the 2018 Telegraph Sports Book Awards Sports Bestseller of the Year**

'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times

'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro

Featured on BBC Radio 2 with Chris Evans

You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you’re suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.

So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.

We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We’ll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson’s assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.

I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

Can’t get enough of Crouch? Tune into That Peter Crouch Podcast on Radio 5 Live


  • Class

    By Butty98
    Great read, really enjoyed it.
  • Peter Crouch - How to be a Footballer.

    By Chocolate Cobweb
    What a amazingly written enjoyable read. The photos made me smile, appreciatively. Peter Crouch, what a genuine and amusing, informative person on a topic he adores. And, the love he has for his whole family shines through. What a lovely person. Karen Holbeche
  • Mmm Jed Cx

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  • Great read

    By Boringharvey
    Finished the book the day Crouchie retired! Perfect symmetry!
  • So funny

    By Gaz327
    Great book Crouchy
  • Guinness

    By enttreauicck name
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  • Funny read

    By markmaz333
    I was chuckling away all the way through this book. Interesting and totally self effacing. Well worth reading.
  • Crouch leaps at the back post and scores!

    By RichTZulu
    Decent read from the big man. Chapters on coach journeys, England camps, hair cuts and Stevie G excellent.
  • You up

    By yyuvwyggy yh
    Youth guy
  • bbbob

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